I’ve been trying to date other people while my twin is off living his life, and honestly, it feels like my heart is just going through the motions. I’ve met some genuinely wonderful people who deserve real love, but it’s like trying to force myself to enjoy a food I’m allergic to.
Sometimes I wonder if making myself unavailable and truly happy on my own might be the key to either attracting the right person or finally being ready when my twin comes around.
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I really feel what you’re sharing here. That sensation of “going through the motions” with others is actually incredibly common among twin flames in separation.
What you’re experiencing has a deeper meaning. Many twins discover they simply can’t connect fully with other partners - no matter how wonderful these people might be. It’s not that something is wrong with you or them; it’s that your energy system is already deeply bonded at a soul level with your twin.
From what I’ve seen working with thousands of twins, dating others often leads to this exact feeling you’ve described - like trying to force yourself to enjoy a food you’re allergic to. Perfect analogy! Your energy field recognizes that these connections, while perhaps lovely on paper, aren’t aligned with your deepest soul connection.
Here’s what’s actually happening: Your heart chakra is likely still energetically connected to your twin. This soul-level bond makes it difficult to open fully to others, even when your conscious mind is trying to move forward.
Regarding your question about making yourself unavailable - there’s wisdom in your intuition. Many twins find that when they focus on their own inner wholeness rather than seeking outside validation or connection, they naturally align with higher vibrations that can transform their twin connection.
Self-focus creates an energetic shift. When you’re genuinely content and fulfilled in your own life, you’re no longer operating from a place of need or lack. This changes everything about how your energy interacts with your twin’s.
This doesn’t mean you need to be completely alone - just authentic in whatever you choose. If dating feels forced, perhaps give yourself permission to step back. The relationship with yourself is actually the foundation that determines how all other relationships will unfold.
You’re spot on, as usual @Cassady! 
I think you figured out the solution to your problem @Emily_Ascends.
Remember that if you can’t be happy single, you woun’t be happy in a relationship! 
I resonate so much with this
My TF is married and we are currently in separation. We have zero contact at the moment. For context, this isn’t the first time we’ve gone months without talking.
Last year, during a period of separation, I decided to focus on myself and put myself out there. I went on dates, but no matter how I tried to move forward and date other people, it just never felt right. Dare I say I felt as if I was “cheating” on my TF? And I felt it wasn’t fair to bring someone into my life when I couldn’t be 100% invested; when my heart so clearly belonged to someone else.
The joke the universe played on me was. The first guy I decided to go on a date with (after a lot of vetting) had the same story as my TF. Except, he was already divorced. He had two kids similar age to my TF, his ex wife even had the same profession as my TF’s wife. And then, he ghosted me. The same way my TF ghosted me. Talk about trigger after trigger
Now, I’m just focused on me and my career. The numbers and synchronicities never stop; and to be honest, some days they drive me insane
There’s a song I’ve been listening to called One Night by Griff. “Maybe there’s something in the dead of night when I’m sleeping alone when I always see your face, tho I wish I didn’t tho, can I have one night. One night. One night. When it’s just me alone.”
I’ve been exactly where you are. I found that dating others during my twin flame journey sometimes pulled my energy outward when I really needed to focus inward. It’s about self-growth more than anything else.
Trust me, I know it’s hard, but I’ve learned to just ‘let them be.’ When my twin was doing things I couldn’t control, I had to allow those situations to unfold without letting them derail my personal growth. The more I focused on enriching my own experience and aligning with my soul, the more peace I found.
Dating others actually highlighted what makes my twin flame connection so special. The contrast helped me appreciate our unique bond more deeply rather than pulling me away from it.
When your twin is with others, it’s often because they’re using these relationships as ‘safe testing grounds’, they’re actually seeking a version of you they can love without the fear of deep rejection.
Dating others yourself might feel empty because your energy recognizes these connections aren’t authentic reflections of your twin bond, so it feels like ‘going through the motions’ no matter how wonderful these people are.
Our twin flame connection operates on a soul level, not just the physical or emotional levels we experience in typical relationships. When I tried dating other people, I realized I mostly tried to distract myself or fill that unique void that only my twin flame connection seemed to touch.
Your intuition about finding happiness on your own is spot on. When I stopped trying to force connections and instead worked on becoming complete within myself, things started shifting in ways I never expected. It’s less about attracting your twin or someone else, and more about aligning with your authentic self.
So yes, I believe finding peace and wholeness within yourself is what ultimately makes you energetically ready for whatever is meant to be whether that’s a harmonious twin flame reunion or something else your soul needs.
So during the 5 month separation from my TF (before we reconnected on my birthday last year), my friends sorta pushed me to start testing the waters on the dating scene. They don’t really know about how intense my connection is with my TF and then I thought I wouldn’t hear from him again. So I figured. Why not just try. After much vetting, I started speaking to someone that I felt I had somewhat of a connection with, let’s call him SH, and decided after a few weeks of talking that we’d meet up for dinner.
Ironically, his backstory was almost the same as my TFs. His wife cheated on him, and he also has two children. The only difference was that he was already separated pending a divorce. His wife was already dating the guy she cheated on him with. Long story short, it didn’t quite work out coz at the back of my head I couldn’t stop thinking about my TF and how I wish that SH was him. How things could be so different if only my TF had the courage to face his fears and take a leap of faith.
After that, I decided to stop dating because to be fair, until I truly move on and/or give up on ever being in union with my TF, it wouldn’t be fair to knowingly put someone else in second place. Also I figured that if I was truly meant to be with someone else, that the universe would allow it to happen seamlessly without me searching for it
Everything happens for a reason right?
I find this topic very interesting, because to me, dating anyone else is out of the question. I’m not interested in anyone else, anyway, and I could never be with someone when my heart is with someone else. I would never do this to myself, and I would never do this to anyone else. Love is too precious to me to play with it.
Maybe the fact I’m married to my twin amplifies this for me, but again, I was single for about 10 years (and no dating) before I met my twin because of the same reasons. I do believe my heart has always been very aware it had a twin flame to reconnect with and was waiting for her, and it was never interested in less than this unique connection.
When I met my twin, I knew right away she was the one I was waiting for. In no moment did my heart ever wandered anywhere else since.
(And before you ask, I’ve never been interested in dating for fun or sex either).
I guess it depends what dating genuinely means for you, and how you, only you, believe it fits in your own journey.
i totally get what you mean about feeling like you’re going through the motions i tried dating casually but honestly couldn’t give anyone the real attention they deserved when my heart was elsewhere. for me it just added this weird pressure, like i was trying to force a connection while knowing deep down there was this other energy still pulling at me. eventually i realized it’s not about making yourself unavailable as a strategy, but just focusing on what genuinely makes you happy without the extra emotional weight of dating situations that don’t feel authentic to you.
The people we date aren’t just placeholders or distractions they’re often divine appointments showing us exactly what we need to work on :prayer_hands:. Dating others doesn’t push your twin away, but forcing connections from a place of loneliness or fear might keep you energetically misaligned with yourself 
.
That moment when you realize your twin flame connection redefined everything… I used to chase relationships, terrified of being alone. Now? There’s this strange peace in my solitude. It’s like their presence activated something within me that’s now self-sustaining. The physical separation pushed me to find wholeness rather than fragmentation.
Don’t get me wrong, I recognize no one else could fill that unique resonance we share, but I’ve found a fulfillment in my own company that I never expected. The irony isn’t lost on me meeting my deepest connection led me to fall in love with my own solitude.
Dating others has actually deepened my self-understanding while apart from my twin flame not as a replacement, but as a journey that’s revealed what I truly need on a soul level and helped me grow into someone more prepared for when our paths align.
I’ve learned that dating others while on this journey isn’t inherently wrong or right, it’s the intention behind it that matters most. When I stopped trying to use relationships as a distraction from my twin connection and instead allowed myself to genuinely enjoy connections for what they were (or embrace being happily single), that’s when everything in my life, including my twin journey, started flowing naturally.
Looking back at my relationship journey, I’ve only truly been captivated enough for long term commitment three times with my twin flame, my karmic partner, and now my soulmate husband. The connection with my TF was especially unique like nothing could compare to that frequency, even when other connections were lovely in their own way. Anyone else experience this selective soul recognition?