Thanks! Me too, a folder which would contain most messages 
And then a week later sent me an intense email asking what I wanted from him…. I guess he forgot my text (he has been dealing w substance use) … the tone triggered me - it seemed angry. It’s been pretty quiet since, I did email him a few days ago as I learned my father has limited time, and I asked for good thoughts. then I felt the cringe. We’ll see. The inconsistent communication is hard. Thank you all so much 
I appreciate your responses; I feel a part of this community.
Thank you much appreciated
I’m so with you. I’ve reached out so many times in indirect ways he might not see and still felt immense embarrassment.
And if you check out my TF story thread, I JUST messaged him directly. But now, I’ve healed enough I can handle that embarrassment much better. Mostly because I have compassion for myself now. Its HARD to be the DF, dealing with someone who treats us poorly. We’re constantly dealing with not only our feelings, but worrying about theirs, when they seem to just not give a fig how they speak to us. It’s actually a tremendous accomplishment to behave so kind and caring for this person, when you’re feeling so triggered. And of course, sometimes things are said perfectly, or you’ll say things you regret. You’re human!
And really… look at HIS uncaring response to you. HE should be embarrassed, not you. Draw your energy back from him and give it to yourself, because if you continue he’ll continue to take your attention and caring “for free” and never give back. Also, you actually help him by doing this. Because eventually when he misses that energy, he’ll be forced to reflect on how he treated you and heal those things and become a happier, more whole person.
I am sorry you’re having such a hard time. But I think you’re amazing for having the guts to message him 
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I will look at your TF story thread! Thank you for your kind response - I agree with your comment about energy and thank you for the support around messaging - it’s so hard sometimes. 