Can anyone help? Relate? We’d briefly reconciled going well then the wheels fell off. Suddenly unexpected strong emotional rejection from him, then going no contact after losing it on me. I hate that. I get yelled at and then bye. I’ve tried my best but today (3 months in) after an intense medical appointment I emailed him very open hearted could we be friends I miss you but not really very self respecting but deep true note. Then I added on to explain context and acknowledge our rupture, say I don’t want a redo but if he’d like to discuss it at some point I could make myself available. What? I don’t talk that way. So now I’ve sent 2 embarrassing emails that conflict in tone and I’m holding such discomfort. Do I wear sunglasses and know I’ll never hear from him, do I say hey, bad day, hope you can understand? what do you do if you cringe after sending something (email tho, less intrusive) but still not respecting no contact and notes are strange. Ps I’m very hard on myself and they may not be the worst ever, but I feel very embarrassed. Thank you!
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If I had a dollar for the number of times I’ve felt like how you felt. Sometimes I reread the things I wrote to him when we were going through periods of silence, and I’m like. What were you thinking? Of course, to make myself vulnerable and put my pride aside to even reach out in that capacity is unlike how I generally am with most people. So when I’m met with no response/silence, I get even more upset with myself.
But that being said, don’t be embarrassed. It takes courage to say the things that are on your mind because being honest sometimes makes us more vulnerable of getting rejected/hurt. And who knows where this journey will take you. I reckon now, just leave it as it is. You’ve said what you needed to say.
Sending you a huge hug! It’s gonna be ok (or at least that’s what I tell myself every day now). x
Thank you thank you so much. So nice to know you understand. Yes! Making myself vulnerable then trying to correct and making it worse. Thank you for your hug! It’ll be okay … (?) 
If you ever need to talk. Send me a DM. x Always happy to listen.
Thank you so much 
Totally agree with what @eunichick said. You spoke from the heart and with love and from a place of raw vulnerability. That never needs second guessing or a correction. Own it! It’s small steps like these that bring the healing and growth with them.
Thanks for your lovely note and support. My openness and then the lack of response can be so hard for me; I so appreciate it!
Hi dear people, latest update: out of sheer desperation combined with a stomach ache I texted him (my previous notes were email) and I asked if he would please put me out of my pain and delete the emails unread. I didn’t expect anything. He wrote a sweet reply saying sure, he hadn’t read emails in a while, it was so friendly ??
oh god, i’ve sent so many embarrassing messages to my twin that i need a special folder labeled ‘texts i wish i could unsend.’ the best thing you can do now is just breathe through the cringe, let it exist without judgment, and remember that whatever he thinks about those emails says more about where he’s at than it does about you.
I’ve sent those ‘oh god why did I write that’ messages more times than I can count (honestly, my phone should have a ‘you sure about this?’ warning button for twin flame texts), and the embarrassment afterward isn’t about the message itself but about feeling so nakedly vulnerable when they’ve put their walls up.
Oh, I feel this so deeply. I’ve been there too. The way you describe it, trying to course-correct with a second email that felt even more “not you”. Ugh, my heart goes out to you. It really does.
You were dealing with an intense medical appointment and feeling raw, and you reached out from your heart. That’s not embarrassing . That’s being human in one of these intense connections. The fact that you noticed the emails didn’t sound like your authentic voice actually shows how well you know yourself.
I know that spiral of self-criticism feels awful right now. You’re being so hard on yourself. The love and care behind those messages come through, even if the wording felt off to you.
Please don’t send a third message trying to fix it. Just breathe and let this uncomfortable feeling pass. Sometimes our most imperfect, vulnerable moments end up being exactly what was needed, even when they don’t feel that way to us.
You’re going through a lot right now. Be gentle with yourself. 
I’ve been in your shoes those vulnerable moments feel awful but they’re actually signs of growth. Try to be kind to yourself; reaching out authentically takes courage even when the words come out imperfectly.
Speaking from experience, don’t try pretending it didn’t happen, but acknowledge it, then lovingly put it down and refuse to let your mind replay the scene on repeat.
Whatever happens with him, this moment of discomfort is teaching you something valuable about yourself that will serve you in the future.
Your soul is just being honest. On the higher level they appreciate your words.
We’ve all been there, don’t worry. 
Thank you! It’s lovely you understand
Thank you! In almost every real message I feel a cringe blow back 
This is lovely, thank you! just what I needed to hear. 
So true! Love the idea of a warning - thank you!