How does everyone handle forgiving their twin flame?
My TF really hurt me in the past, and I normally draw lines with people quickly and don’t give them another chance to hurt me.
If we are headed for union, how do I forgive what they have done during separation? Has anyone managed to truly forgive and start fresh or do the old wounds always stick around? I can’t see myself forgetting this…
Chart Your Path to Union
The path to union can feel lonely, confusing and downright painful.
A snapshot of the stars at the moment of your combined birth times can help us path your journey together: Get Your Twin Flame Birth Chart
Recently coming back into reunion with my twin, it just… doesn’t matter. We both hurt eachother in the past but in the scheme of things it doesn’t mean anything.
Forgiving my twin flame was both the HARDEST but most AMAZING thing I’ve ever done - it’s like my heart burst with love and understanding, and suddenly all that hurt just melted away!!!
Forgiveness has been one of the hardest parts of my journey, but forgiving them doesn’t mean you don’t honor yourself and your experience.
I’ve learned that holding onto anger and resentment only hurts me (and where I want us to be) in the end and that true healing comes from releasing those negative emotions, even when it feels like it can’t be done.
This is precisely what happened to me and she’s been in my heart ever since, so forgiving proved to be a gift in more ways than I expected.
What you’re experiencing is 100% projections from his Ego, which is fighting for it’s life, tooth and nail. He does not accept what you’ve accepted yet, that the love is true, and so therefore all he feels is his ego screaming at him to destroy the threat. It’s a panicked impersonal response, although it feels totally personal.
My TF is truly a kind, loving, sensitive soul. But when we get too close, he is triggered and becomes an absolute monster in terms of his callous, cruel treatment of my heart. His face/eyes even change in his pictures during those episodes! Not him at all. This helped me realize he is a lost, abandoned, scared little boy inside, trapped And blinded underneath a mountain of trauma.
Through that, I was able to feel compassion and empathy (for I was in that place not too long ago, and know how all consuming the ego can be). And therefore forgive his treatment of me.
But it’s also important to acknowledge the real hurt he’s caused, and be straight with him how his actions have affected you (without attacking or finger pointing. Focus only on how he made you feel). He will respond poorly, probably ignore it. But at least now he knows exactly what he’s done deep down, and still responsible for his actions in the end. He’s just not in a place to even see what he’s doing, and only he can change that. Forgiveness is the only path of peace for you.
Slowly and gradually.
Like most things, true forgiveness takes time. Its not something that you can or should rush.
Eventually you’ll be able to move past what’s happened, and fully forgive them if they have indeed changed and consciously strive to embrace their authentic self and make ammends.
While past hurts can’t (nor should they be) forgotten, your perspective of them will change, and eventually you might even start to look at them in a humourous way. 
Just give it time. Don’t rush.
It is definitely hard.
Like two saplings from the same seed, TFs can get entangled in ways that stunt their growth. Sometimes, we see thorns as the other's leaves reaching for sunlight. It's a careful balance of roots and branches, each seeking nourishment while trying not to overshadow the other.
Forgiveness is like the gentle rain that softens hardened soil. It allows for new growth, even after a harsh season. But remember, even the mightiest oak needs its own space to flourish.
Take time to tend to your own garden too. You may find clarity blooming like spring flowers after a long winter as you nurture your inner landscape. The path forward might reveal itself naturally, like a stream finding its way through the forest.
The hurt often serves as a catalyst for growth.
It brings up our deepest wounds precisely so we can heal them. Rather than forcing yourself to forget, try seeing your twin’s actions through the lens of your shared spiritual development while acknowledging your valid feelings and taking time to process them at your own pace.
I’ve learned that forgiveness is an important part of the twin flame journey, both for ourselves and our counterparts. It is not just about them; we do this for ourselves.
It's way too easy to get caught up in judging mistakes or perceived wrongs, but I've found more growth comes from compassion. That said, note the difference between isolated missteps and harmful behavior patterns.
It’s a delicate balance - being open to the connection while not letting it define my whole identity or worth.
Ultimately, I believe true forgiveness starts within. By working on self-acceptance and keeping the promises I make to myself, I create a foundation for authentic connection.
Don’t focus on forgiving them for now. If you feel like there is something to forgive, you still have to focus on yourself and working on forgiving them is just bringing your focus to where you don’t want it to be right now.
It isn't just the DM that needs the forgiveness, sometimes we hurt them in ways we're just not conscious off.
The most profound healing came when I finally reached out to my twin flame years afterward, seeking forgiveness and reconnection. Amazingly, they were going through their own DNOTS at that exact moment. Our energies synced up again, this time to lift each other up rather than tear everything down.
I remember the first time I forgave my twin flame. It felt like releasing a tension I didn’t even know I was carrying. The scars are still there, but they show me how far I’ve come and the strength I’ve found in being vulnerable.
I… I think there was this moment, you know? When I, uh, realized that maybe… just maybe… I didn’t have to, like, completely forget the pain to forgive it? At least, I think that’s what happened. My DM energy was kind of… well, I’m not sure if it was really there or not. But anyway, I sort of… let the pain become part of our story? If that makes sense? I mean, I could be wrong about all of this, but it seemed like it wasn’t about erasing the past.
Maybe through understanding. If they are truly your twin, you know why they do whatever they do. The same way they understand our actions.