we are lesbians, and I’ve often heard that twin flame connections trigger growth and mirror each other’s wounds. Yes, we are triggers and mirrors for each other’s past traumas. However, lately, she has refused to listen to me, even counterattacking me when we argue. It’s exceedingly frustrating. Now, we’ve broken up, and she rejects my perspective, even though she was the one who insisted on ending things between us.
is this common for twinflame?
today we had another fight and she compared me to her toxic ex girlfriend who cheated on her 3 times and got mad at her when she had an accident and had to be hospitalized… to the point that I made her feel guilty but that’s how I felt. I’m feeling like I’m going crazy like this because of her behavior and I never be this uncontrollably mad (saying harsh word) to someone even though they’re toxic, even to the meanest ex. It sounds like guilt tripping but that’s how I felt.
and she even said she are trying to get back to that ex… now I’m feeling hopeless
Twin flame connections can be intense, transformative, but sometimes destructive. Your experience reminds me of when I felt my twin and I were caught in a storm, lashing out at each other instead of weathering it together. It’s painful when our mirror shows us things we’re not ready to see, but remember - even after a wildfire, new growth emerges. Trust that this separation is nurturing the seeds of healing, even if you can’t see the sprouts yet.
TBH, this sounds more like a toxic situationship than a TF connection, IMHO. The constant fighting, guilt-tripping, and her going back to an ex are major red flags, ngl.
True TFs bring out the best in each other, not this level of drama and negativity, so you might wanna take a step back and reassess if this is really your mirror soul or just a karmic lesson, yk?
Nobody else is able to tell you for sure. However…
Based on your description, while this may be an intense soul connection, the dynamic you’re experiencing sounds more like a challenging relationship pattern rather than a twin flame connection.
Twin flame connections are characterized by an underlying foundation of unconditional love, even during difficulties. What you’re describing - particularly the comparison to toxic exes and threats of returning to them - suggests manipulation and emotional abuse rather than the mirroring that happens with twin flames.
True twin flame mirroring helps both people grow and heal, not spiral into toxic patterns. While twin flames can have conflicts, there’s typically a deep knowing of each other’s souls and genuine care, even during separation. The behavior you’re describing sounds more like trauma bonding and unhealthy attachment patterns.
Your best will be forged through the worst. Don’t mistake “toxicity” for challenging growth. If our twin flame is really here to bring out the best, then they’ll show you the worst. There’s no magical relationship where you’ll come together and it’s going to be all peach blossoms and sangria by the lake. The key indicator is that you’re convinced enough to believe it to be your twin to come onto a twin flame forum, further than billions of others ever make it. Don’t discount the fact that you’ve made it here, see past the lies and find the truth behind the traumatic expressions between yall. See where the inner child is wounded, and work on that, for yourself. Your twin will automatically do the same without a word. Don’t for once think if you’re doing the work and it feels amazing and you feel so high from the elevation of peace you cultivate from it that you should ever have to share it with your twin so that they can also experience it and that could be frustrating because at times they may not be ready for that. But, they will be and find the way eventually. Even as someone’s twin sometimes we don’t have the strength or authority to help them make changes which can make us feel unworthy, but they’ll be given their own set of circumstances to entice the growth. Eventually there will be an X where you can meet in the center or continue to move your own path. Just keep an eye out and keep in mind always “X” marks the spot. Her ex led her to you once. Who’s to say it wouldn’t do it again. Accept how things are and appreciate that you’ve even been enlightened enough to find such a heavy cosmic truth. Go do your thing and she’ll be back around! You’re right where you need to be!
Sometimes the connection feels less like a spiritual journey and more like a messy, emotional entanglement. What if the real lesson here is learning to set boundaries even when everything feels cosmically significant ?
even when everything feels cosmically significant 
?