I am doing the self-care/self-love/compassion. All of that. I get it. I’m sure I met my TF. She and I talk, then don’t talk. Get along, then she writes things that are incredibly cruel. She lets me talk to her son. I’ve told her I wanted to adopt him. Then she pushes me away. No one has ever loved her like this. People have used her and manipulated her because she’s beautiful and empathetic. I just don’t know what to do at this point. I don’t like labels, but I don’t know if this is karmic or false twin or real one. I’ve transformed incredibly spiritually because of this relationship and created a few companies and a book that will really help people evolve as well. The human part of this is incredibly difficult for me. I feel the love in my soul/heart level but as a human, my heart is broken in many ways.
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Look, what I am about to say is probably going to sting, but I think its likely what you need to hear to move forward.
Feel free to ignore everything I say if you want. Its your life, and it really makes no difference to me what you do with it.
You need to accept REALITY.
You are not married to this individual that you believe to be your twin flame at the present moment. You are married to your wife. You have taken an oath and made a vow, to stand behind them though good times and hard times.
Understand that breaking a vow like this carries a heavy karmic penalty, and if you do this, this other individual will not likely view you in a favourable light, potentially triggering fears of future abandonment should they start a relationship with you in the future.
I don’t know how your wife feels about you pursuing this person, making the statements that you did, or taking the actions that you took, but I can tell you from my own personal experience, that if they appear to be fine with this, deep down they likely are not.
If you haven’t done so already, then have an open and honest conversation with them about the situation with this other individual, that you believe to be your twin flame. This way you can all make a decision together, about what the best the course of action is for your relationship and family moving forward.
Based on what you described, its likely that this person is traumatized from being used and manipulated by others. And unfortunatly this is not something that you can “fix” or “heal” for them. Its something that they need to address for themselvs.
The fact that they are so “off and on” is a clear indication that they still need time to perform this inner work and take care of this trauma.
The type of partner they would be if they behaved like this in a relationship is also an important aspect to consider. Would you enjoy being with someone so “shacky”?
My suggestion is to re-kindle and re-build your marriage. It demonstrates to everyone that you are a loyal, commited and stable partner who is not easily swayed by their emotions, but rather makes conscious choices to stand behind their commitments and values. Everyone’s admiration for you will grow as a result.
Trust that everything in your life at the moment is orchestrated the way it is, to make you grow as a person and prepare you for your eventual union with your twin flame. Whether it is indeed this individual or not.
I think @Scorpio should be given some kind of title here. He’s the hero we need, even if we don’t deserve.
Sometimes, we need someone to give out the harsh truth that we might not want to hear but serves us the greatest good, and right now, I think Scorpio is it.
@OP we don’t know your full situation so none of us can really say for sure, but I would consider taking his advice.
Your experience shows classic signs of the push-pull energy pattern that happens with twin flames. The on-off pattern and seemingly cruel behavior often stem from intense shared energy that hasn’t been balanced yet. While the spiritual growth you’re experiencing is significant, focusing on that growth rather than the physical relationship is key.
The challenging part isn’t determining if she’s your “real” twin flame - those labels matter less than understanding what’s actually happening energetically.
When there’s strong push-pull energy present, trying to force connection often backfires and creates more separation.
I’ve been where you are, feeling that push and pull of connection and cruelty. The human part of this journey can be excruciating, even as our souls expand. Labels matter less than how we grow through the pain - focus on your own healing and transformation, and trust that will ripple out in ways you can’t yet see.
I understand your pain, but have you considered that this push-pull dynamic might indicate this isn’t your true twin flame? A genuine twin flame connection, while challenging, shouldn’t leave you feeling consistently hurt or manipulated.