The "Let them" theory. Do you think it could also work for a twin flame?

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Hey guys,
Have any of you heard of the “let them” theory? Or read Mel Robbin’s book " The Let them theory " or listen to her podcast?

I read her book a few months ago and all though I loved it and started to apply the practices in my every day life, I rolled my eyes a bit when she got to her section of her book regarding the “Let them” theory when it pretains to getting over someone. She said it takes about 3 months to get over or move on from someone. Avoid their socials so you dont look at them. Dont look at their photos or things that remind you of them, I think she said for a minium of 11 weeks or something.

I rolled my eyes, because I felt sure, those rules would apply just fine to a normal relationship. We can, and we all have the ability to get over “normal” relationships. But when you share a soul with someone, feel their energy and mood shifts daily, they constantly show up in your thoughts or dreams constantly. How on earth could the “Let them” theory really help and apply to a twin?

I have been at an extreme low the past few weeks. As I have been feeling my twin more strongly. Synchronizations getting stronger etc.
I’ve gone to sleep crying only to wake up crying. I’ve just been struggling. Yesterday it got even lower because yesterday was the 22 year anniversary of my mom’s death. So I was really struggling yesterday. Like dont ask me how I am or I will just burst into tears. Thats how low I felt. I woke up crying yesterday and sent my twin a 13 min voice note begging him again for closure. Of course, it was met with more silence.

I felt sad still the first half of my day at work. Then by the end of the day, I felt a shift and just felt “done” done with this sad, longing, missing energy. I told myself, “girl, you got this. You can move on. What ever that looks like, you can do it!”
So I got home last night, showered and went to bed and woke up thinking about the “Let them” theory.

I am going to try. For 30 days, I am going to try and see if I can apply this to my journey. Actively everyday, try to apply the “let them” theory in regards to my twin.

I’ll be back to report how it went.

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First of all, I want to send you a huge hug. I ( as well as many others on this forum) can definitely empathize with what you are going through, @Cesadie37.

I have read the book, and can say that I’m still trying to “let them”. It’s such a rollercoaster ride; one day you’re feeling completely fine, and the next, the emotions hit you like a ton of bricks. The missing, the thoughts you sometimes cannot control, the questioning of your sanity.

I can’t speak for everyone. But I’ve had my share of relationships, and feel I’m quite apt at “getting over” someone after a heartbreak/disappointment. But my relationship with my TF is one that I have struggled with over the last year since we have been in separation. I don’t know if one ever “gets over” a TF since they are innately a part of you. But I guess the “let them” theory applies in the sense of not “chasing” but allowing things to happen as they should and will.

I lost my Dad in 2023, which is how my TF and I reunited in the first place. Grief is a funny thing, especially when one has suffered the lost of a parent. I hope today is better for you.

There are times during my journey when I have wondered if my inability to “let go” is due to my own ego and competitive nature. If I just didn’t want to “lose”. I also have tried asking my TF for closure, but as you have experienced, I was also met with silence. For the longest time I have felt that if he truly wanted to move on, or if this connection wasn’t as strong for him as it was for me, that he would at least have the courage to say goodbye or end things properly. But until today, I haven’t spoken to him since Christmas, and I still am unsure as to why we have completely stopped speaking. I question if it is the lack of closure that is making it unable for me to move on

I just want to say that: You got this. And if you ever need a listening ear, please don’t hesitate to send me a private message. I would love to hear how you go with your “let them” theory and if it changes anything for you.

Hugs.

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Thank you so much. I messaged you. :heart:

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I think everybody approach to handle separation always different, because of the journey itself that albeit similar, but also different for every individual. For my first separation, we could say that I chase until I drop. For almost a year I do meditation, healing, grounding, energy alignment to heal myself from any trauma that I have, so that my TF come back. He did come back for a few months :sweat_smile:.

The second separation, it’s already 9 months now, after he broke it up with me again, like what you feel right now, I’m done, I need to give a respect for myself, not like the first one, this second separation I don’t even try to contact him, don’t even take a peep on his status update, don’t even talk about him.

We know when we talk about a TF Journey, we’ll always talk about 5D and 3D aspect. When I talk to my spiritual teacher 2 weeks ago, he said that even though in the surface we’re not together anymore, but within, please mind it that my spiritual teacher use his own term, within we both still in one vessel. Well, I think that in line with the TF concept, that both the DF and DM coming from one soul that split into two bodies, or despite the separation we’re still connected with the cord and the connection never break. Well, that’s 5D aspect.

If we talk about the 3D aspect, that is our day to day life, it’s a fact that right now the relationship is broken, our TF choose to leave, he gone silent, he ghosted us, he avoid any conversation about our relationship, the worse? Maybe he jump into other relationship. So, I think we need to treat it as 3D relationship too. To see it as it is.

If you want to apply that “Let Them Theory” just go with it, the soul connection will stay intact, but we could mindfully handle the up and down of the energy shifting. Do what feel good to you and prioritize yourself more.

Cosmically, this past two weeks truly hard on TF, everything that hurting us being laid bare, so that we can release it for good. It physically and emotionally influence us in a bad or a good way.

So, give a pat on yourself. You already done well. It’s okay to feel sad and disappointed, we are human after all. Stay strong.
:hugs::hugs:

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I hear you, and my heart goes out to you. Losing a parent is something that never fully heals, and having that anniversary while dealing with twin flame separation must feel overwhelming. That’s such a painful place to be.

You’re right that the typical advice about moving on from relationships often feels hollow when it comes to this connection. When you’re feeling someone’s energy shifts throughout the day, when they show up in your dreams, when the synchronicities keep intensifying - it’s not like you can just block them on social media and call it a day.

The friends who often give us this advice haven’t felt it to really know how to help.

But I don’t know that this “Let them” idea really works either.

This connection operates on completely different principles than regular relationships. The energetic bond between twins can’t be severed through willpower or conventional detachment methods. Even when you try to create distance, the telepathic communication, shared dreams, and energy exchange continue.

What’s happening with your twin’s silence might actually be spiritual overwhelm rather than indifference. When one twin pulls away, it’s often because they’re overwhelmed by the intensity, not because they don’t care. Your emotional state directly affects theirs, which is why traditional “move on” plans tend to… well, backfire.

Instead of trying to detach completely, what tends to work better is focusing on inner healing while acknowledging the permanent soul bond. Not waiting, but using the separation as a tool for growth.

The intensity you’re experiencing - feeling their energy constantly, the dreams, the synchronicities getting stronger - these are all normal for twin flame separation. Your goal isn’t to stop feeling these things but to transform how you relate to them.

I admire your willingness to try the 30-day experiment. Maybe instead of trying to “let them” in the conventional sense, you could focus on letting go of the desperation and need for control while still honoring the connection? It’s about finding that balance between spiritual awareness and maintaining your daily life.

Given how intense things have been for you, it might help to work with an energy healer or spiritual counselor who understands twin flame dynamics. Not someone who’ll try to convince you to “get over it” but someone who can help you navigate the bumpy parts.

Please be gentle with yourself.

The pain you’re feeling is real. This journey asks us to hold seemingly opposite truths - to let go while staying connected, to find wholeness within ourselves while being half of a whole. It’s not easy, but you’re not alone in this.

Sending you so much love and strength. Please keep us posted on how your 30 days go. We’re here for you. :blue_heart:

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As Rumi once said ‘Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it’

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I don’t know it by this name but, for me, the theory worked better as cycles rather than a straight 30 days I’d practice intense detachment for a week, then allow myself one day to fully process the connection, which strangely helped break my addiction to their energy without denying our bond.

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I’ve actually been working with the ‘Let Them’ theory myself, and I think it absolutely can apply to twin flames, just in a different way than it would with “normal” couples in “normal” relationships.

It’s not so much about ‘getting over’ your twin flame (which honestly feels impossible given the soul connection), but more about releasing the need to control the connection. When I practiced this kind of detachment, our energetic connection actually felt clearer. Without all my anxious expectations clouding things, I could sense the genuine link between us much better.

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