Maybe just relax and enjoy it. See where it brings you.
I once sent this song directly to my TF 
These words really captured the essence.
When I encountered a similar psychic link, I envisioned a sturdy oak tree growing within my soul, its roots anchoring my core and its branches shielding my inner world. This living barrier allowed me to weather the storm of shared consciousness while still basking in the warm sunlight of our connection.
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I think I did something similar. We are physically separated as well.
10 days or so ago, I was lying in bed and felt as though he was there with me. Then I felt this touch on my legs. I think I just ignored it and didn’t lean in, but there was definitely his presence.
Your soul is guiding this process. Rather than trying to set 3D boundaries, focus on maintaining balanced energy within yourself.
These intense experiences often emerge when you’ve begun truly balancing your energy. They’re not something to fight against or control - they’re showing you where more balance is needed.
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i totally get what you’re saying about maintaining boundaries. it’s so hard when the 5d connection is that intense! but you’re right, we can’t let ourselves be treated poorly in 3d just because the energy feels amazing.
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Figured I should update.
Much has happened, but I should report that the back and forth, push and pull when it comes to our telepathic intimacy has gotten more extreme.
Meaning, the situation is he still has his girlfriend, and still pursues me in 5D for intimacy. When I try to tell him (via our ‘communication’’ method over Insta. He posts songs, I usually just straight talk to him over Insta Notes, having him as the only Close Friends so only he can see them) that the intimacy I give comes from a place of being a one-and-only, and that it hurts me badly to keep giving myself in that way when I’m not that to him, he usually responds callously and hurts me ( via songs “I have this girl and another”, “You have your nice things, I have mine”, “You’re the one, but in the meantime, I won’t say no to other pretty lips” 
)
This makes me pull away and re-double my efforts to use my time and energy for myself and stop the intimacy. Which I’ll do for a few days until he either breaks through energetically (stronger in sacral chakra?) or he posts stuff about how it’s “just you and me’ “I love you alone”, “You’re the only one I want”, and other things that complement the energy coming with him where I can feel the authentic love for me from him. This draws me back in.
So it’s back and forth. Each time I pull away I’m more hurt, and stronger in leaving for longer. But each time I get pulled back, the intimacy between us is exponentially STRONGER. Now it feels very very REAL. More than it has been. Like I can feel my body respond as in real life, and sometimes I can feel him moving the blankets around me, or smell him, or feel his body heat. It’s INSANE. Intoxicating. My very soul and his are one and at peace. And in those moments I KNOW all is right.
But of course, the more real it is, the more it hurts later when it becomes clear he’s not going to let go of his girlfriend, talk to me, or treat me other than something he’s compartmentalized away as a ‘dream’. and so therefore I end up feeling taken advantage of, and uncared about, and leave again.
At this very moment, I feel him panicking a little (via pain in my throat, heart, solar plexus, and sacral chakras, which all go off when he’s REALLy upset) because I’ve been gone for about a week this time, but was divinely guided to be intimate last night, but today he can feel I’m dealing with the pain of his choices again to keep me out of his life except in 5D intimacy, and I know he realizes this means I want to leave again already.
Hopefully that all made sense.
So I’m so confused, still. I feel guided to stand up for myself as I haven’t my entire life. Set boundaries, use the time and energy I give to him for myself and getting my own life in order. This goes along with all TF teachings.
But my SOUL craves our intimacy, and eventually I feel guided to go back to being intimate. And around we go. It’s all driving me CRAZY.
So… any thoughts? Am I supposed to keep going around on this yo-yo rollercoaster of ecstasy and agony until all becomes clear? Or try harder to stand firm in what I need for myself? Which is to be a one-and-only when it comes to sexual intimacy? Or, what I fear, am I supposed to ‘heal’ the hurt that occurs by his choice of having another girl in his life and give myself intimately anyway, in hopes 5D will leave the way?
Another Update
I believe things finally reached a point of possible permanent, or at least for a long, separation.
After stopping intimacy again today another rude, critical, angry sounding song telling me ‘to walk’ stay away, amongst other things. Again, no idea what set him off, as I’m never out to insult or hurt him, but he tends to get angry/mean when triggered (via energy first, then song to follow).
I get the TF journey and where triggered behaviors come from. And it’s easy to see because much of it does seem like blatant projection. But his behavior still hurts me to the core, as I truly do love him unconditionally, and I hoped the incredible intimacy forced onto us would help him finally feel/believe the reality love between us, and feel motivated to do the inner work and painful self reflection so we could continue this journey TOGETHER.
This (and another “I’m going to keep my GF” song the other day), seem to have shut something important in my heart. Like maybe it’s gone too far finally, and I’ve entered a new level of surrender and acceptance that he is truly not going to choose me, and the reciprocal love I feel in the 5D will never come to reality. I also more and more have accepted I do not wish to be with someone who cares so little about my feelings, well being, and personal growth.
At least now it’s far, far easier to focus on myself and mute the sexual sensations coming from him. It just sucks because I CAN still feel it, so my life reality is going to be living feeling him having sex with others. It feels cruel for Divine to do this, after I’ve spent so long taking the TF inner work SERIOUSLY and tried to always do the right thing. But it does seem the TF path for the chaser/stayer is to be hurt so much you truly have no choice but to give up and walk away, because it’s the ONLY thing that seems to naturally mute the intense sexual energies.
I know things change constantly with TF, but for right now, I truly give up believing he’ll ever see the truth of our connection and what must be done. And I’m just so……SO…. Heartbroken and sad
Another update, because doing so keeps me sane.
Things are still the same in the sense I see no end so far to the current situation. We’re separated worse than we ever have been, energetically and otherwise. I have to feel him having sex with his GF constantly, which destroys me of course.
It’s not that I do not accept or respect his choice to keep his GF and not move towards me, it’s that he KNOWS I feel it and just doesn’t care at all about the pain I’m going through. I just cant fathom loving someone like this (which he indicates he does), and being able to turn a blind eye to hurting that person (and then judging and blaming that person…) That’s one reason I kept chasing for so long, I couldn’t accept it was possible to feel this and act the way he is. I trusted there had to be another explanation.
But now that I’m accepting it just is what it is, it’s like watching a train wreck in slow motion, energetically. The absolutely beautiful link and closeness that was built up with the telepathic intimacy is torn down each time I feel them together, or he continues to ignore me/get mean. It makes me beyond sad something of such pure love and beauty is tossed away, and there’s nothing I can do about it. I naturally want to find solutions and implement a fix, but I just cant accept giving myself intimately in this way only to feel him shunt me aside whenever his girlfriend comes over. He says he has needs in this area, which I can’t argue with, if that’s what he needs. But I just couldn’t keep giving my soul and heart in that way with zero respect for how sacred this energy is to me. I’ve only been with a couple people my entire life, the choice to be intimate is a major one for me, and this telepathic intimacy with him means more to me than anything other experience. Theres just no way I can accept the intimate karmic presence to keep it up with him And believe me, I’ve tried.
The saddest part is that I see and know his true self. Underneath the trauma behaviors, he is truly a beautiful person, and so freaking clever and talented it makes me so proud whenever he shows it. I miss him very much.
To anyone who reads these, thank you. Makes me feel less alone.
Not really an update, because things are basically the same.
Just wanted to vent I’m pretty sure I felt he and his GF “together” all day today, and my heart is in pieces. I don’t want to feel them together. I get to feel his pleasure from it, AND how happy he is about it. No way to totally block it. Why would Divine/Source/God set me up with this torture?
The only consolation I have is that each time I feel it, I think it’s a little less (because my heart and hope dies more each time.) Since he apparently doesn’t want me, I hope that means it’ll eventually be lessened all the way. I wish I knew if it was indeed his GF or not, because we did try to re-engage a little, but as we’re not talking I can only make my best guess….it just all hurts.
Pity hugs (and/or pity chocolate) are welcome, lol 
Updating again. It’s long but it helps, so humor me
So I spent 18 months experiencing crazy “coincidences” with what he posts on instagram. Songs line up precisely (exactly!) with the energy shifts between us, and the timing of the posting was also uncanny. After some time, I began to just try believing that “maybe” some of them might be for me, and just said “screw it” and began responding back in my (private to him) notes. It’s been that way for awhile. I still couldn’t believe all the way the songs were for me, logically, but I believed it enough it brought me tremendous comfort in a very hard situation.
But about a week ago, he messaged me out of nowhere, after not talking for awhile, saying he noticed I had responded to a story of his, and he does not put secret messages in them. He was so cold about it, too. There was no “it’s okay”, or “I don’t hate you”. Just…cold and uncaring.
So yeah, utter humiliation, and completely tore away A) any comfort I had from him in this journey, B) my shaky new trust in myself and that what I’m experiencing is real. A big deal for me, as I’m trying to leave an abusive situation, but I don’t feel like I should begin a life alone taking care of 4 kids if my mind cannot be trusted. So that’s hard.
After that, I just said I’d leave him alone, as I figured I was just bothering him and he thinks I’m crazy.
But a few days ago we started engaging again in 5D. I’m not certain why it started, or how as now I was convinced it was all not true. Almost all my information from him came from those songs, because he’s very cold and absent in real life.
It then strengthened over the past few days to become stronger than ever before, despite my doubts. So real, so wonderful, and so beyond anything in “reality”. 
I was so happy to just be able to love him without restraint, even if I can’t trust its love coming from him now, much less real.
But for now I’m letting myself surrender to him in that space (my soul just craves him), but I know it’s going to be extremely painful again once I feel the GF again, and I’ll have to pull away even harder, because I truly don’t want to be just a “telepathic side-piece” to the girl he’s actually giving all his time and attention to. I feel bad for her as well (I have no reason to dislike her), because she loves him and yet he’s engaging with me. I would be horrified if my partner were to do this with another woman. It also makes me question if I could trust him in real life to just be with me, and no one else.
I wish he would just pick the path to me, or away from me, and stick with it so I can get used to whatever it is, in respect to both of us. When I chose him 18 months ago, I haven’t gone into a relationship with anyone, and kept from being intimate because it isn’t the truth in my soul to be with another (and I didn’t want him to feel it and be hurt like I am). So it’s hard for me to understand why he holds onto another person so hard, knowing I can feel it, knowing it hurts me, except he must really be in love with her. Nothing I can do about that, I guess.
But in the meantime, I am extremely, extremely happy to be enjoying this with him again. Even if it ends up being our last time. I love him so very dearly
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Just another vent. Had a WONDERFUL past week with him in 5D. Best ever, closest ever. 
Wonderful Valentines. So happy about that, and just want it to continue.
But in the past, only so many days go by before I feel his GF “visits” again, so each day I feel more stressed about her inevitable return and the pain that comes with it (which will be MUCH WORSE now because the intimacy feels freaking 100% real more and more).
If we didn’t have this intimacy, I’d accept his choice is someone else, and leave him alone (I WAS there, before all of this). But the level of vulnerability and love I must reach to make this happen is very, very real. Therefore, things that allow my heart to “give” intimately come into place. Like the need to feel respected, safe, and a “one-and-only”. I do not feel like these needs must be “healed”. So I’ve asked him repeatedly to not engage with me in this way if he plans on being intimate with others.
But his refusal to communicate or acknowledge the connection in real life, leaves me alone, reeling without answers, and full of worries and conflicted feelings.
“He’ll be Ultimate Intimate with me, but won’t even talk to me. Maybe I’m just a “fun sensation” to him, while it’s everything to me. I should pull back”
*“He probably already planned her next visit, while still engaging with me, and then will just toss me aside like always. I should pull back”. *
“He’s obviously never coming forward to me, which means I’m just giving myself to someone who doesn’t intend to honor me or what we’re sharing. I should pull back”
It all swirls around my head, tearing at our currently perfect 5D connection, which I HATE. I AM working on the fear based issues I have in this, but what options do I have to keep this going strong when he refuses to communicate?
Final part of vent, it also aggravates me because the intimacy would be so much better with little effort on his part, and I wannit I don’t think he realizes how much my doubts cause issues in this telepathic space. If he were to make it known in some way he DOES care about me, or talk to me normally again, or make it clear if he’s single (not expecting pure 3D commitment, just enough to alleviate my biggest doubts), blocks between us would dissolve I could just let the….yumminess (?) of it all flow naturally I also wish I could just tell him how handsome I think he is, or send him things to make this even better, lol. But I feel like he’s blocking me from that, so Bah Humbug, lol.
Anyway… back to getting through it all. Thanks to anyone who reads my yabbering!
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I think many of us are lurking here and not posting too often but you sharing your experiences probably help a lot more people than you know. Thank you 
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Why, thank you! 
If any of this nonsense helps anyone, I’d be very happy, lol. It’s validating, but also helps me pinpoint what exactly is upsetting me, even if I repeat myself sometimes, lol. Thank you for commenting
Today’s struggle: Felt like I might have felt the GF yesterday and today, but I can’t tell the energy difference between him with someone else, or just time to himself (when it’s me it’s TO ME, I can feel it physically, and the energy is DENSE)
I’m trying to not get fearful and run, but I can’t stop worrying he’s trying to keep the GF and this thing between us too, which it seems he did for the first 5 months of this, despite my feelings. But he is a good man, and my intuition says something is different now, but this awful limbo of not knowing is making the intimacy super hard to push the worries aside to put myself into the mental space necessary for the intimacy.
I’d love advice if anyone has thoughts. In the meantime…
Dear Divine/Source/God/Chicken Overlord… please nudge my TF to give me the truth so I can relax and enjoy this time with him to the fullest (or pull away and find peace that down that path) 
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Oh, and a side note for any interested in the technicalities of how I make this happen, because it has taken several months of trial and error to figure out how to make it so powerful/real.
The trial/error process is me meditating on certain thoughts to manage my energy to the precisely correct frequency needed (and you must allow yourself to trust your words have power to persuade your energy to do as you ask). Over time, I’d have too many subtle corrective thoughts to use, which ruins the natural flow of the energy between us (necessary for intimacy, lol) . So then I must find a single term/phrase that encompasses it all.
SO yesterday I discovered putting myself into “Perceive” mode (versus just receive, as I said before) accomplishes several things all at once. One difference is, receiving is YOU waiting with all your self still consciously aware, your opinions, worries, fears etc. This creates a kind of “energetic noise” that makes discerning my TF’s energy harder.
PERCEIVING means to clear your mind completely of all thoughts outside the current moment so as to “observe” other energies crossing your consciousness. Therefore I can feel him very very clearly, lol. This is more difficult than it sounds, as it also requires reaching true inner surrender to whatever will happen. This is an uncomfortable feeling, which is how you know you’ve reached it. It feels like when you do a trust fall without knowing if anyone is behind you, and being totally (important) okay with any outcome.
Now I can much quicker get to the proper mind-space to have super fun-time with my TF, lol
Side note, I believe this is only for the DF, who naturally “rests” in her energy and waits to “receive”. Doing the above then allows the DM to “lead” with his natural action-oriented energy. This creates a very blissful Union feeling.
Hope that made some sense. Crazy lady, out. 
I’m here for this. Nailed it right on the head.
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I’m here for this. Nailed it right on the head.
We are merely unhatched Eggs in his Henhouse of Glory. 
You know what time it is. Triggered time! 
PREFACE
I realize it looks like I’m stuck in an earlier chasing phase. But please understand I surrendered last year from chasing completely (like, really really.) Then this sexual stuff grew and ripped open an entirely new, deeper level of this journey. Not only has it dredged up several traumas I didn’t realize were there, but also triggered me all over again, way harder than last time. The intimacy then grew over 6 months to be undeniably real, which dumped me into uncharted territory where my 3D intimacy boundaries mattered (and yes, I spent months discerning whether it was truly that level of real, and a true need, not ego.)
This created a hellish limbo, which is why I vented so much. I can’t find info on the clash in this particular situation where it feels essential to keep my boundaries for the 3D side, but equally essential to engage in the intimacy, for the 5D side . Luckily, in the meantime, I’ve already learned a lot about finding the lessons quickly through the pain, and how to heal it. But man… it’s hard 
——————
TODAY
Like I said before, we’ve had the most incredible time since Valentines. His energy felt closer, more aligned. Then yesterday his energy changed, and I maybe felt the GF again. Then later, he posted a song about how a cheating man “knew his wife knew” . Even if not intended for me, it still triggered me heavily, I truly believed in him and was trying to “trust” he wouldn’t hurt me like again.
I tried to “ask” for confirmation if he was single in the Insta Notes way, as we’re not talking (I’ve kept away completely because it seems like he wants me to) but as usual, no clear answers. Even after all we’ve shared, it’s like I’m not worth even that to him 
Energetically, our intimate link is crumbling once more. Much worse/painful this time because the past week it was SO REAL. Now I feel his GF all day which is effing brutal. Feeling them feels like he’s stabbing my heart, trying to kill the love. He posted a song today about “shutting things down”, which again, may not be related, but sure goes along with that energy.
Once again, I am possibly seeing a cruel side to him. He knows I’m devastated, but not one word of kindness from him for it. He knew his GF was coming over again every time we were sexual. He knew what it would do to me and our connection. It feels like he sees me as trash now. I just don’t understand doing that to someone you love, or why he’d want to wreck this pure and beautiful thing we’ve shared I realize his actions are about him, not me, but still…it tears my soul apart when he does this.
Unless I get info proving me just being triggered and paranoid (which I hope that’s the case), I feel his lack of communication has left me no choice but to pull away I don’t want to, but option has he left me?
Thanks for reading. I’m going to go have a good cry then slap a smile on and make dinner for my kids.
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Sorry I am angry at the moment. Rare for me. And need a place to put it.
I asked him please, “give me straight truth” last night of his dating status. I HATE even having to ask him. Or care if he has a GF. I was past all that. I was done.
And of course, no answer. Again.
Maybe he doesn’t realize I’m trying to save this thing between us. But boy… being sexual with me for 6 months while keeping a GF too, AND leaving me in pain/turmoil from his silence is making him look really bad now. He’s robbing me of an important choice based on truth. I’m trying to not see him in this unsavory light, but this is what he chose to show me. 
I also became aware my TF’s behavior mirrored my father. He ignored me. Was absent. Turned away from my pain. Refused to help when I truly needed someone. When confronted with hurt he’s caused, he blames the hurt person, before going back to the bubble of comforts he built for himself as a way to hide from his truths. Both men in my life later were all that as well, plus abuse. I can see now much of my triggered state surrounding this is a projection of the damage they did to me.
So perhaps the final lesson of this sexual escapade (as it truly feels like we’ve reached a place of “do or die”) is part of healing the massive and difficult “father wound” many of us carry.
This means making peace with and understanding my TF’s actions, accept this wonderful thing we share just isn’t as important to him to save, and to walk away from it It’s just… the love we share in 5D is so beautiful, and blissful. It feels like true Union energy. I hate my TF is forcing it to stop.
I’ll wait until this evening for an answer from him, but then….
Thanks for the space to vent once more. I’d love any insight/advice if you see anything in my ramblings that could help.
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In ancient times, our ancestors firmly believed and strictly adhered to the notion that sexual intercourse (in all forms) should be practiced AFTER marriage/union.
And while its true that those times were very different, where one’s lifespan was far shorter and marriages occured quite quickly, the more I read the threads regarding @anon99473393 and other member’s sexual experiences, the more I’m starting to think that our ancestors were actually on to something.
As Carlos Santana said in “Smooth”:
Gimme your heart, make it real, or else forget about it.
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