It’s been over a year of separation no contact. The last text from my TF was in March. He text me out of the blue saying he would love to see me. I responded and told him I was on call working and could meet him later that evening. He never text back and neither did I. Since the beginning of this journey he’s reached out inconsistently and we tried meeting up several times but he would cancel at the last minute. He’s ghosted me many times even though I always respond timely to his text. Since he ghosted me this last time I think he should be the one to initiate and reach out. The thought of me texting him and getting no response or another ghosting is something I can’t deal with. I know this is my ego and fear but then again I think it’s on him now to reach out to me. I energetically know he’s finally understanding this connection but his reluctance is stalling our ability to move forward. Any suggestions?
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I understand the pain of separation and the urge to reach out, but I’ve learned that forcing contact often backfires. Trust in the connection you share and focus on your own healing - when the time is right, your twin will come back into your life naturally.
It sounds like you already know what you need to do here. Reaching out in the future is a good option, but not when it comes from a place of uncertainty.
He’s not ready, but he wants to contact you in a way that suits him and doesn’t trigger him. Let him work on that while you work on you.
Sounds like a “breadcrumbing” phase where our twins reach out just enough to stir everything up, then go back to no contact running.
Reaching out is a good sign, but (and this is a big but) allowing this inconsistent pattern can actually delay union because it enables his runner behavior without accountability.
He needs to do the work to be able to move forward. He needs to know there is something to work on.
I’ve been in a similar situation, and I know how painful that inconsistent contact can be.
It’s okay to protect your heart and let him be the one to reach out next, especially given his pattern of ghosting. Focus on nurturing yourself and your growth for now. It sounds like you’re already on that path.
Sometimes, what feels like ego is your higher self protecting you.
You’re setting a healthy boundary by requiring reciprocal effort and consistent communication. This isn’t blocking your reunion. Creating space for him to step up, do his work and match your energy.
If they’re really your TF this isn’t malicious or intentionally hurtful, just a sign they are not ready yet but wanting to keep the connection alive in the small way they are capable.
Hi everyone, I’d appreciate your advice.
My tf and I have been separated for > 1 year (2nd time, long story). We’ve had a few brief exchanges, I usually begin it. Weeks ago I clarified a previous note, and made myself more vulnerable in doing it, with no request/question or need to reply. I felt very authentic in sending it.
Just now I received an email from him. Not really our norm. He asked a direct question then brief comment. He can be very direct. Almost like text.
I’m trying to ground and not react. I’m not sure if I should respond (I normally do if someone’s asked a ? but yet so brief). Hope he doesn’t feel obligation, but no question, expectation, and 3 weeks after sent.
Okay, so that’s my head. I’ll focus on grounding. Thanks very much 
Sometimes, it is easier to take the additional problem of text out of it and maybe use voice notes or something. I find that helps me.
Entirely up to you. It doesn’t hurt, you can include a question if you want to thread the conversation a little or give him an easy way to keep it going.
As a runner, I can relate to the inconsistent communication and last-minute cancellations - fear and uncertainty often held me back from fully engaging.
You could take the initiative to express your feelings honestly, without expectations, which might help break this cycle of push-pull between you. Just do it at a time you’re coming from a good place and capable of doing it honestly without expectations.
I sense your heart chakra is guarded, which is understandable given the inconsistent communication.
When twin flames are out of alignment, it often manifests as blocked throat chakras, hindering clear expression. Meditate on opening your heart and throat chakras to release fear and promote honest communication. When you feel more balanced, you may find the courage to reach out authentically, or he may sense the shift and initiate contact himself.
Your boundary of wanting him to initiate contact is completely valid. It’s not just ego - it’s self-respect and self-protection. Probably the right thing for now.
The fact that he reaches out “out of the blue” periodically is typical TF behavior during separation. This usually happens when they start awakening to the connection. His pattern of canceling and ghosting suggests he may still be working through his fears and resistance.
If your twin flame took the initiative to reach out with a question, responding authentically aligns with the natural flow of communication. Keep your response simple and true to yourself, without expectations or overthinking.
This is the mindset we need to get in to.
I remember feeling trapped in this cycle of hope and letdown. I began writing these letters to my twin flame, never actually sending them, but it was somewhat therapeutic and helped me sort through all my feelings.
I appreciate this post. As full context, I am married and have a family and my TF is not my wife. I am sure I will not stay married and even my children say I’m going to marry my TF. I know this is bizarre, but in my life it makes sense because we are a very communicative family. My TF and I aren’t talking. She is very guarded/traumatized/etc. The only communication we have is when I introduce her to people who could help her grow her company. She always responds. I also told her I cared about her unconditionally not matter what and she responded, “thanks,” which I think is a miracle considering she blocks people out of her life. I am not attached to any outcome but am fascinated by this world because it doesn’t make any sense but it just is what it is.
Thanks very much - I froze a bit - it was a surprise - I did respond and we actually spoke briefly
Thank you, that’s great advice. My challenge can be freezing, so it’s harder to access my natural rrsponse. I really like your thoughts -
Wonderful advice - yes, I’m working on relaxing from the freeze response. It took me by surprise as it’d been so long, and his direct response was a bit disarming. We did speak for a few minutes after that exchange, which was good. It felt awkward but ok, and I felt it broke this frozenness. Thanks!