Separation within the marriage

General
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Hey all !

I’ve been on the TF journey for 11 years now (9.5 years without knowing it), and it happens that my separation with my twin, which is ongoing for 22 months now, is within my marriage with her. We are married since 2017, but separated for almost 2 years now. And this commitment mixted with the no contact separation of this twin flame journey… With divorce being a very difficult idea to face in my DF chaser that surrendered position (the best I can - I’m still committed to my marriage). It’s a very wild ride.

Is there anyone here in my situation ?
I’d like to have the point of view of twin flames living through this particular reality I never read about in the twin flame communities. Separation within the marriage.

Thanks and looking forward to read you !

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Welcome to our community @Marie-Jeanne.

I’ll get straight to the point. I think the issue you are facing is far more common then most would like to admit.

Its really not any different then couples that have been married to each other for a long time, but have become so individualized, that they on longer have any common interests or perform any common activities anymore. The only difference is that they are still physically together.

Time appart (as in your case) does tend to help address these connection issues, as nostalgia start slowly creeping in, and allows for a re-start to the relationship if both individuals choose to do so.

However, this points to a deeper problem(s) or issue(s) that is affecting you both, which has caused this separation to occur in the first place.

So, I’ll leave you some questions to ponder, which I want you to answer truthfully for yourself:

• What was the last activity you performed together that brought both of you true and joy and genuine fulfillment?

• After nearly 2 years of separation, why do you genuinely need to be with them again? What do you stand to gain from being with them again?

• If they were to return, would this genuinely and truthfully improve your life in any real way?

I know its easy to only concentrate on the short term, and seek instant gratification, but for true, genuine and long lasting love to flourish, the focus should be on the long term outlook of a connection.

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Hi,

Thank you, although I am not new to the community as I was there when the old app was up (which seem to have been replaced by this forum), and I am a PureTwinFlame/Twin Flame Collective member for more than a year now.

As for your answer - I am sorry, but I am not sure I understand your point ?

Your questions don’t really apply to what I’m going through. It’s not a break up of boredom ? It has nothing to do with lost of interests or anything you seem to imply. It’s about traumas and insecurities taking over. It’s about something that triggered something that caused a separation and put me on a wild spiritual ride.

It truly is a twin flame separation in all of the definitions you would give it. I’ve gone through all the awakening and the supernatural coincidences, I’ve done my inner work and continue on my path, while my twin is facing their shadows and maturing. I’m learning tarot and to trust my intuition. And as I’ve being told by a few psychics I came to trust fully after more than a year, she is coming back to me, but I need to remain patient still without being in a waiting or chasing energy.

We’re definetely going through a twin flame separation and we are definitely mirror souls meant to mend and come back into union in this lifetime. However, we are married and this creates a very uncommon situation in which commitment and the twin flame separation dynamic collide. At no moment do I question our compatibility nor our capacity for happiness - there is no comparable connection as the one we share and no, we did not just grow in separate ways, not at all. She’s best friend material, and yes, there’s still so much to gain from each other. This connection still has a lot to offer, in a way I could never find in any other connection.

And marriage is a long term commitment you commit to every day. Concentrating on the short term ? In the short term, I wear a wedding band while also being ghosted in an old runner twin fashion way. I am commited long term to her, as she is my wife and family even though she turned her back to it, while also surrendering to divine timing in the short term and processing all the emotions a commitment promise like that that’s put on pause can create.

I’m not sure I understand how “commun” this is as you say ?

I’m just looking for someone who also live through this situation, as I’d like to speak with someone who can relate and share their point of view on this particularly difficult position of being married with your twin flame runner. And I am not questioning our twin flame status.

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Oh, but I believe they do! And your questioning of their relevance is also significant. What I’m trying to determine is the true reason why you wish for them to return.

So I will sum all of these questions into one:

Why do you want your twin flame to return to you so baddly?

Is it because you feel that there is something missing in your life, or is it because of the commitment they have made and you feel they have broken?

You say that your connection still has a lot to offer, in a way you could never find in any other connection. So what is it that it has to offer?

Its not? Because loss of interest, boredom, etc. in relationships is a by-product or symptom of past traumas and insecurities. Everything is interconnected, and everything traces back to a core issue.

And no one trully knows what this issue is exept for you. That’s what my aim is. To help you, explore your inner self, in order for you to discover the core issue that’s caused this separation.

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Hey,

I appreciate that you are trying to help, but I think you miss the whole point of my request to begin with.

I do not need advice on how to face our issues and to answer the why I want her back. I’m way past those questions, and I am aiming for union because I do understand our connection and why we are separated. I am not looking for advice on the twin flame journey or dynamic - I fully understand the journey I’m in.

As I said, I’ve surrendered to divine timing, but being married with my twin is a 3D fact that creates a particular reality which I find very rare in TF connections, and therefore, a topic that is well, never discussed. This is what I’m looking for - someone who also has this 3D reality that would like to exchange opinions and points of view with me.

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Interesting dynamic.

You believe I miss the entire point of your request, while I question the entire purpose of your request.

You say you do not need advice on how to face your issues. You say you don’t need to answer the why you want her back. So what is it that you’re really looking to find?

Does another person’s opinion or point of view, that has been or is in, a situation like the one your described really matter that much?

I’m going to stop, because its clear we can’t see eye to eye on this.

Best of luck to you @Marie-Jeanne! May you reach the union you so greatly desire. :pray:

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Interesting dynamic ? What dynamic ? I don’t understand why there’s a debate here or why I’m being judged on my story I haven’t even shared ? I think you misinterpreted me here, that’s all I was trying to say.

I’m not looking for the opinions of others to find my own or anything. I’m doing very well on my path and I have a very good understanding of my journey. All is good.

I’d just like to discuss with someone who has the same reality in a situation I find nothing about online. Nothing more. It’s just about sharing, like two peeps sharing. That’s all.

Peace :v:t2:

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Certainly not a situation you hear about often but the unique situation might not change things as much as you might expect.

The key is understanding that physical proximity or legal bonds don’t prevent the energetic separation needed for growth. Living under one roof while experiencing separation requires exceptional focus on your own energy balancing rather than fixating on the physical circumstances.

When separation occurs within marriage, it often feels more intense because the legal and social expectations conflict with the soul’s journey.

Remember that the separation isn’t about the marriage - it’s about balancing fear-based energy that’s present regardless of marital status. The marriage itself is neither a barrier nor a guarantee.

Focus on yourself and your own energy work during this time. The physical arrangement, while complicated, doesn’t change the core work needed. Trust that your soul orchestrates everything perfectly, even within these complex circumstances.

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I’ve been in a similar situation - separated from my twin flame while still legally married. It’s an incredibly challenging experience that can leave you feeling torn between your spiritual connection and your worldly commitments, but focusing on my own growth and healing during this time has been very important.

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Actually, my marriage with my twin plays a HUGE part in my blueprint, and even the idea of a divorce does right now in my dynamic with my twin. And she doesn’t know anything about twin flames - but our marriage acts somewhat the same in her perception of things between us, from fears and running to surrendering and shadow work.

We’re not living together anymore, as she fully ran away. Right now, I don’t even know her address. But I do still have much of her stuff, and there are many things to settle if she were to really want to divorce (which I am sure she doesn’t though she’s not ready to admit). But right now, it’s a no contact situation.

I am convinced we were meant to go through separation within our marriage because this commitment sets all the bases in my twin flame dynamic. Even our wedding rings, which I picked in 2016, screamed twin flames even before I knew what it was - because we built this relationship on a “I, you, us” balance that now makes so much more sense now that I know about twin flames. Our wedding rings represent just that. And this balance is something that acts somewhat the same as if she knew about twin flames in her perception of our connection.

Our marriage links everything from my past to her chaotic past, to our happy years together (while also growing A LOT together), and now in our separation, it played and still plays a very huge part. Even the fact that we are “tied up” plays a huge part in my twins needed shadow work and reasons to run, because of her past. I NEED to keep this in mind in my own perception of things to be able to be on the same wavelength as her. I NEED to work everything around our marriage in order to further our spiritual journey - and that is not optional in my blueprint as I have come to understand after all this time. Even my spirit guides work around our marriage on the help I receive.

I don’t wish to get into specifics here, but I want to make something clear : yes, my marriage plays a big part in our blueprint. That I am convinced 100%. Our separation would have been totally different if we were not married, and I am sure our souls chose to have separation within our marriage for that reason.

Now, I know it’s something very uncommon in twin flames. And I get that we have a very unique blueprint with this. But please be careful with this idea that marriage is just a 3D thing and is not that important in a twin flame journey. In my case, it is, and it probably is for a few other twins even though I have not heard about it so far. So be careful not to invalidate this reality for everyone.

Sometimes, 3D stuffs are EXACTLY what makes ALL the difference in the 5D journey. Sticking to the opposite as an universal idea will not help some twins that need to turn their attention to some important earthy parts of their blueprint in order to further their spiritual journey. Yes, it’s about energy and spirituality and all, but let’s not forget that twin flames come to Earth to further their soul’s journeys. 3D stuff IS important - which part of it simply depends of your blueprint.

All I was asking in this thread was to speak with someone for which marriage with their twin flame plays a part in their separation. Just to share with someone that will understand what this all means in my journey, and maybe compare some aspects of it to expend my comprehension.

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You say “have been”. Is this something of the past ? Are you back with your twin in your marriage ?

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Have you tried journaling or meditation to process your feelings? Sending you lots of strength and positive vibes! <3

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Separation within marriage must be an incredibly intense experience on the twin flame journey. I haven’t personally gone through that exact situation, but I can imagine the conflicting emotions of commitment, separation, and surrender all intertwined would be overwhelming at times.

Sending you strength and light as you navigate this unique and challenging chapter of your journey.

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Have you considered how this unique situation of being married yet separated from your twin flame might be pushing you to redefine your understanding of commitment and unconditional love in new and unexpected ways?

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@GaiasChild @Alchemical-Rose @Choose-You-Always

I did try journalling and stuff last year, but it was not for me. It took me a long time to figure out how to deal with being “attached” with commitment while also surrendering to divine timing. But I think I figured it out - I can’t ignore my marriage, and surrendering must then be surrendering to the timing of her coming back, but not surrendering to the outcome per se.

Once I stopped trying to figure out this puzzle, and accepted union WILL happen by saving our marriage, it’s way easier to surrender to the patience I need with this. I have tried to surrender about the outcome, but surrendering to “not caring if I’ll divorce her or not” is not possible for me. It’s as if my soul, each time I did, was trying to tell me thinking about divorce will not help in any way. It feels like the universe is telling me each time “Let your marriage in our hands, and focus on surrendering to divine timing - you only need patience, Marie-Jeanne. Be patient, trust me, and your marriage will get back on track”.

It’s very hard to explain, but I do believe our marriage is meant to keep our story active within separation (and keep our family a thing), and is the main reason for my twin to face herself. And it has a lot to do with her past, though I see other reasons too.

I don’t want to go into specifics, but my twin was in a submissive relationship before me, with a contract that made her almost a slave. But since it was nothing legal, when she decided to quit, she could do it and the contract had no value. When I married her, my fear was that our marriage contract would become the same if she wanted to end our relationship - meaning that it would have no value for her whatsoever, and that our vows would mean nothing.

I believe the meaning of our marriage was a big part of the things she had to learn within separation. I’m saying this because of how she left, how she rejected our marriage so quickly, and all the things she said since. So yes, @Choose-You-Always , the meaning of commitment was part of our journey, and I do believe it’s linked to unconditional love - my twin needed to accept that marriage is not a chain (again, submission…) but a promise, and that YES she deserves to be unconditionally loved, which she could never accept before, as she had a hard time accepting love from me, let alone unconditional.

We’re in no contact since August, but I know she has made a lot of progress towards rebuilding our marriage by doing inner work and learning how to love herself and be self-sufficient. I believe divorce scared her (like, forever loosing me) and she now wants to play her part again in our “Me, You, Us” balance, and she working towards it and her independence. And in all this, she has redefined the meaning of our marriage - psychics are telling me she realized she made a huge mistake in regards to this, and she is focused on saving our marriage by becoming my best partner.

I hope I’m right with this, but it does feel accurate.