Out of curiosity, what is the longest anyone here has experienced being in separation with their TF before they return?
I realised while learning more about TFs that there are always periods of reunion, then separation, and repeat until both TFs have done their healing. Love to hear everyone’s
My journey thus far:
Age 17 - met my TF and dated for 1.5 years before separating
Age 39 - reunited with my TF after 22 years
In reunion for 5 months before this pattern emerged:
Hello, thanks for sharing. And the above statement is so apt. The rollercoaster of separation and reunion is not for the faint-hearted. Which clearly twin-flames aren’t, we’re made of tough stuff. As we know, God only gives you what you can handle (yikes).
When I read your story on separation and re-union and other TFs on here, it makes me a little coy about my own situation as we don’t have these long periods between separation and reunion. My twin and I have only known each other for 4 years and we are both in our 50s. We have had countless separations and re-unions in this time, way too many for people to still take us seriously as a romantic couple.
When I first started posting on here (only a short time ago), we were in separation and he had just entered a phase of active growth and healing (been a long time coming). This has lifted both our vibrations and we are in union again. It feels smoother and easier now we have both put effort towards our own growth, learning and healing rather than focussing on ‘what the other one should do’. I am really proud of him how far he has come in a short time of ‘awakening’.
The rollercoaster of the last 4 years finally feels worth it and we are determined not to stop our learning and growth as this seems the only way to make the most of twin flame connection and hopefully remain in union and grow together.
I want everyone to have a happy ending and find themselves in reunion. The deep ache of separation is so gut-wrenching. I wish you and your twin the mastery of all the necessary steps you have to individually take to reach your union. Keep us posted.
Thank you. Honestly, finding this forum has made me understand my journey so much more. There isn’t anyone who I can talk to who would truly understand how this feels, or the concept of Twin Flames. I know I’m on a personal journey that is unique. But of course, every day I pray for clarity and strength to heal and find self love so hopefully, we can come together in the future
But I’d be cautious about using this kind of data to compare with your own path.
What appears as separation in the physical world is actually an illusion - you and your twin flame share the same soul energy and can never truly be separated. The physical distance or silence happens when there’s an imbalance in the shared energetic field between twins.
The timing of physical separation varies greatly between different twin flames because each journey is unique.
The reason this is important is nobody should be comparing their journey against another.
One couple might be separated for a week while another separates for a decade.
What matters isn’t how long the separation lasts, but rather using that time to balance your energy and align more closely with your soul. When you focus on healing and balancing yourself rather than on the physical separation, you create the conditions for reunion.
Looking at your specific pattern - the alternating periods of connection and silence are showing you areas where energy still needs to be balanced. The varying lengths of separation aren’t random - they’re opportunities for deeper healing and alignment.
Try seeing these cycles as necessary steps in your journey.
Thank you for your advice. This journey is just so isolating at times. I’m still learning about all the 3D and 5D aspects of TF connections. It’s great to get insight and perspective
First, thank you for sharing your journey. Those 22 years apart is significant, but not unheard of in the twin flame community.
As for how long the average is, @Ellasi linked the study above. You’re getting the opinion and experience of a lot of people using that, rather than a few individual replies.
From what I’ve observed working with hundreds of twin flames, separation periods can last anywhere from days to decades. I’ve known twins who reunited after 30+ years apart, and others who cycle through shorter periods like you’re experiencing now.
What’s happening in your current pattern is actually quite telling.
These alternating periods of connection and silence point to specific energetic work being done between you. Each separation creates space for integration and healing.
When looking at separation, the length of time isn’t as meaningful as what you do with that time. Physical distance doesn’t change your soul connection - you remain energetically linked regardless.
Your current cycle shows progressive movement - notice how the patterns shift in duration? This indicates evolving awareness and healing taking place, even when it feels frustrating.
Instead of focusing on “how long” separations last, consider:
What emotions arise during silence periods?
What personal growth occurs during each separation?
What patterns in communication shift after reconnection?
The pattern you’ve described isn’t random - it’s purposeful. Each reconnection happens when you’ve both reached new levels of understanding.
Rather than comparing timelines with others, focus on your unique journey. The timing is perfectly aligned with your specific healing needs. Trust that process, knowing that each phase serves your highest growth.
You’ve definitely brought up a very good point, @Cassady. Thank you. I’ve definitely got to spend more time meditating during these periods of separation. It’s hard not to get sucked into the pain that separation causes, but focusing on my own growth is something I need to do during this period
I guess part of the reason I’m comparing is not so much about individual journeys but my own questioning about whether I am even on a TF journey, or if it is all in my head
Reading about everyone’s unique experiences and journeys has been comforting to me. It can feel so isolating when there is no one else to talk to who can understand the complexities of this journey. Most of my friends brush this off as “just another break up I can’t get over”. I wish I could make them understand how, despite my attempts to move forward, it’s impossible
Thank you for your words and your response. It’s given me something to think about
I’ve been in an 11-year cycle with my twin where we reconnect intensely for 2-3 months before going into silence for 1-2 years. The hardest part for me isn’t even the length of separation. It’s the unpredictability of never knowing if this silence will last weeks or years, and I’ve had to learn to live my life fully despite that uncertainty.
Your timeline of 22 years apart before reconnecting actually gives me hope because it shows these connections truly can withstand any length of separation and still reignite when the timing is right.
The longest separation was 1.5 years, a constant battle between light and shadow within myself.
I was freaking out for the first couple of weeks but finally figured out why it was all happening. Now I feel like I understand the cycles better it makes more sense.
@Seraphya, if there is anything I can say it would that after 22 years when I saw him again and we hugged (he came to attend my father’s funeral). There was still a familiarity in that embrace. A few days later when we met for coffee to catch up, there was still that same level of comfort and ease in our communication; as if no time had passed at all. Even though we both were nervous (he later told me it’s because he couldn’t believe I was sitting right in front of him after all these years and I still gave him butterflies, and vice versa). It truly felt like coming home. In his words, “it’s as if someone had pressed the pause button, and then someone just hit play again.”
I empathise. For me it is also that uncertainty. Like, is this over over, or is this just another pause? And if it is over for good, why didn’t he say goodbye?
I know how challenging these long separations can feel (I’m sure we all do). But I’ve found that when I focus on my own internal balance rather than watching over external circumstances, things flow more naturally.
Releasing these fear-based thoughts helps to stabilize your own energy and makes for both shorter and easier separations.
It’s not so much about how much time passes, but the inner work and transformation we go through during these periods.
Thank you for sharing your insight @Divine1212. Are you and your TF in communication now?
For me I guess it’s difficult coz our last conversation was a happy and sweet one. Usually when we go into separation, it’s because we have an argument or disagreement. This time, he’s just disappeared. No goodbye. No explanation. Trying to understand that, and also wondering if he is really my TF are things that sometimes makes me spiral. I try to stay grounded and allow things to unfold at their own pace. But it’s challenging some days
My journey has spanned 16 years, with periods of separation ranging from 6 months to 4 years.
While your pattern of short bursts of connection followed by silence feels familiar, I’ve noticed that each reunion becomes progressively more stable and meaningful as we both continue our individual growth, like we’re moving together more gracefully with each cycle.
Thank you for sharing that, @Leo-Goddess. I’d really love to hear more about your story.
I do agree with what you’re saying. I feel the “closest” we got to having that meaningful and stable connection was March to April 2024. We had some really deep and difficult conversations together, and managed to work out some tough questions we had surrounding our future. I guess even though we did speak at length, we were not ready for union as a disagreement we had at the end of April - beginning of May 2024 resulted in us not speaking for 5 months. Even when he reached out to be in Oct 2024 on my birthday, our conversations were scattered, inconsistent and lacked any sort of depth. I feel there was still some healing and growth to be done on both ends. Perhaps that explains this silence since Christmas.
We did have a conversation in Nov 2024 where he said to me that he feels if we start things up again, we are always going to end up with the same issues and end up fighting again. He said he felt that I was never “in this” 100% because of my own fears and insecurities. To which I explained that despite everything that has happened, he is still married to his karmic, and nothing between us can ever really “change” if the circumstances remain the same.
Anyway, I digress. In this period of silence though, I have returned to doing the one thing I love the most in life, and that is my job and my work. Being focused on that and spreading joy through that area definitely has helped me find my center and purpose again. I guess with time, work, and patience, things will gradually fall into place
